"Forget the politicians. We'll start with the first three, and I'll use the Roman Catholic version because those are the ones I was fed as a little boy. They dont fall out of the sky. It's a big club, and you ain't in it. Their own habitat. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. <>stream
If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. You wanna know what a friend is? 4 0 obj I'VE FAITH IN THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Web. That's the problem in this country too many people getting on with their lives. So, I know that a little later on this year youre gunna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much [Bill Clinton v. Bob Dole]. He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. Who in fact did not even leave the house on election-day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done, and have every RIGHT to complain as loud as I want, about the mess YOU created, that I had nothing to do with. BUT WHEN I DO, I'LL ADVISE YOU. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. You voted them in. They don't pass through a membrane from "another reality". They want your retirement money. 124 Copy quote. George Carlin Discusses 'Silly Putty and Napalm' Aired June 08, 2001 - 21:00 ET. If you can afford a donation, it will help Speakola survive and prosper. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. And don't get me started on the selfies. Garbage ingarbage out. 0000002288 00000 n
But, the Incomplete List highlights his exceptional understanding of, love for, and talent with language, sound, and rythmn. )'B^E_2yKg&. Look them in the eye, shake their hand, and share your thoughts and feelings in person. 'Oh, I'm so exhausted from traveling all over Europe for the third time this year. They're your 'likes'. Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. Marc Allan: Hi. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(digitalcommons@montclair.edu)/Rect[400.0562 72.3516 527.5898 82.8984]/StructParent 7/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . Every time. I say that where the military is concern the extent of a POLITICIANS insincerity can be measured by how far around the world our soldiers are stationed and whether or not any of them(POLITICIANS) can pronounce it? Speakola is a labour of love and Id be very grateful if you would share, tweet or like it. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. And of course, they're all looking for that dopamine hit of getting likes and comments from people who agree with them. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. It's just a curated version of ourselves that we want to present to the world. 0000006309 00000 n
Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? Results like these do not belong on the rsum of a Supreme Being. And don't even get me started on Twitter. 0000053233 00000 n
You know what they want? So, it may seem like stand-up comedy, but I suspect Carlin is deadly serious. Please validate my existence. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). This legendary rant is even better when read. So I know that a little later on this year, youre going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. We're not rats', Rectorial address, Glasgow University - 1972, For Geoffrey Tozer: 'I have to say we all let him down', by Paul Keating - 2009, for James Baldwin: 'Jimmy. endobj They want obedient workers. And don't even get me started on the whole idea of 'friends' on social media. (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. They [Catholic teachers] would fall back on, Well, its a mystery.[2]. Theyll get it. You and I are not in the big club. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! Its called the American Dream,because you have to be asleep to believe it. Off-course no politician would admit to such a lowly station as working in Government. I mean, why do we need to see some idiot eating Tide pods or jumping off a roof into a pool? They speak of course with great caution, because they must take care not to actually say anything. When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. https://www.scripts.com/writer/george_carlin/6024. Such as the PROCESS: POLITICIAN:WE HAVE TO MOVE THE PROCESS FORWARD SO WE CAN IMPLEMENT THE PROVISIONS OF THE INITIATIVE IN ORDER TO MEET THESE CHALLENGES. This is said with a straight face although it's obvious of course that the proposition is stated precisely backwards (LAUGHS). Something is definitely wrong. As I say, they're my work, they're my . (LAUGHS). To avoid redundancy in the comments section, we kindly ask /u/arkreder to respond to this comment with the prompt you used to generate the output in this post, so that others may also try it out. Nothing wrong with the planet. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people and they get into office and screw everything up, well, you are responsible for what they have done. Yeah, let's share our every thought and feeling with the entire world, because that's what we need, more information. GEORGE CARLIN: I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. It's supposed to connect you with other people, but it's just a way of avoiding real human contact. Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. Dog, Cat, Thinking. You know, say, boy, he really . THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) You're just trying to impress people you don't even know. startxref I have my ideas. Yeah the public sucks. Let's all tell each other what we're doing every minute of the day. This is what we have to offer. And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. Reading the text, it sounds like a reasonably serious essaywell, sort of. Likethe public. Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. Whenever the issue of term limits comes up, I always tell people the only term limits I'm interested in would be to limit some of the terms used by politicians. (LAUGHS). . That doesnt help them. I don't words that conceal reality. People go on there, they play with the animals, they pet them, they feed them, but they don't get any real interaction. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me. Everybody says they suck. George Carlin Interview Transcription: George Carlin: This is George Carlin. Two is all you need, folks. %%EOF Everybody says they suck. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. That's a big activity here in Washington! Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! Carlin is funny as hell. Everyone experiences pain, of course. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. They're your contacts. Carlin is usually spot on. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. An INITIATIVE is an idea that isn't going anywhere! Not in the abstract they don't. What a great idea. Its a big club, and you aint in it! endobj Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. POLITICIAN:WERE ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM AND WE'LL SOON BE PROCEEDING. I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. They got you by the balls. Fuck hope! You got people spouting their opinions left and right, like they're some kind of expert on the subject. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. Are these fucking people kidding me? Youre just going to wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Nobody seems to care. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. 0000008961 00000 n
And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. It will be a lot of fun. They want obedient workers. 192 0 obj I dont vote. . Well, we know what they want. They're not your friends. Fuck em! `XX /;VU}`M%VO #5Zfb-> 186 0 obj Maybe two hundred thousand? What's with all the selfies? They are irrelevant. "We're so self-important. POLITICIAN:I ADVISED HIM THAT I HAD MADE A JUDGMENT. ], Your email address will not be published. People like to twist that around. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? As I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. But hey, I guess it's just part of my glamorous jet-setting lifestyle.'. It's like we're all living in a never-ending episode of MTV Cribs. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( \n h t t p s : / / d i g i t a l c o m m o n s . e d u / e t d / 4 7 1)/Rect[72.0 131.7406 279.0264 143.4594]/StructParent 6/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> endobj [187 0 R 188 0 R 189 0 R 190 0 R 191 0 R 192 0 R 193 0 R] <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[466.2109 650.625 540.0 669.375]/StructParent 2/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. Then you're just what they're looking for. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. People like to twist that around, I know. It's like they're part of some kind of digital echo chamber. A friend is someone you can count on. 0000005590 00000 n
Thats against their interests. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. Ive read it dozens of times. "No child left behind. George Carlin. They're your followers. In fact, it might be the thing that's making you unhappy. Better yet, and more ironic, 'THEY TWISTED MY WORDS.' Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . Update this biography All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. Certainly! Shut the fuck up! Retweets do count. (LAUGHS). You have no choice! Yeah, right. And so when finally all the facts come out and our subject seems quite guilty he employs that sublime use of the passive voice: POLITICIAN:MISTAKES WERE MADE. Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. everybody complains about politicians. Video Transcript - In Defense of Politicians (George Carlin, 1996) "Now there's one thing you mighta noticed I don't complain about: politicians. We don't need that many. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and because you and I have at-least one thing in common which is that all of us deal with language all the time, I thought it might be nice today for me to come to you with some of my language complaints, certainly not to blame them on you, although off-course youre implicated. [/wptabs]. You don't. You have no choice. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. Two reasons I dont vote. Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) stream You have no right to complain. 203 0 obj George Carlin - National Press Club May 19, 1999. <<76B7883B53B3B2110A00D082ECFCFC7F>]/Prev 777933>> It's like we're living in this weird dystopian future where everyone is constantly monitoring each other, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. Everyone's taking pictures of themselves, all the time. But in war times they quickly become, our brave young fighting men and women stationed half way around the world in places whose name's they(POLITICIANS) can't pronounce, wandering if they will ever see their loved ones again. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. BRAND: That's comedian George. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. They own all the important land. This is what we have to offer. Hi speech lovers,With costs of hosting website and podcast, this labour of love has become a difficult financial proposition in recent times. Complete biography of George Carlin . Apparently no one has ever claimed that only a small portion of something (LAUGHS) was blown out of proportion. First of all, its meaningless. They don't care about the planet. (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN. OR: I WAS QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT. Because the owners, the owners of this country dont want that. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! 0000080920 00000 n
POLITICIAN:THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, NO ONE HAS PROVEN ANYTHING EVENTUALLY I'LL BE EXONERATED. I'M SERVING THE NATION. e d u / e t d)/Rect[230.8867 233.3227 416.9463 245.0414]/StructParent 4/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> You know, those posts that pretend to be modest, but really they're just a way of showing off. The transcripts I could find always sucked. See they dont READ they REVIEW, they dont have OPINIONS they take POSITIONS, and they dont give ADVISE they make RECOMMENDATIONS. [wptabtitle]Blog[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][/wptabcontent] George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) George Carlin - Euphemisms I don't like words that hide the truth. Yeah, the public sucks! It's clearly a padded list. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. Never mind the press conferences get the big knife out of the drawer. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for. They say, Well, if you dont vote you have no right to complain. But wheres the logic in that? If you have selfish, ignorant citizensif you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gunna get selfish, ignorant leaders. He spoke about his book "Brain Droppings" and answered questions submitted by the audience. And if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in the courthouse wall. Suddenly we're down to four. They dont pass through a membrane from some other reality. Funny, Humor, Beer. ', Illustrator of the Year, British Book Awards - 2018, Tina Fey: 'Only in comedy is an obedient white girl from the suburbs a diversity candidate', Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award - 2010, Sacha Baron Cohen: 'Just think what Goebbels might have done with Facebook', Anti Defamation League Leadership Award - 2019, Greta Thunberg: 'How dare you', UN Climate Action Summit - 2019, Charlie Munger: 'The Psychology of Human Misjudgment', Harvard University - 1995, Lawrence O'Donnell: 'The original sin of this country is that we invaders shot and murdered our way across the land killing every Native American that we could', The Last Word, 'Dakota' - 2016. They dont care about you at all at all AT ALL. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. 185 0 obj Everybody says they suck. The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or .
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